Wednesday August 06, 2025

 

Wednesday August 06, 2025

Self Reflection Journal

This morning I went to the gym. I was going to do the 6am class but decided to do the 7am class instead so I would have more time to get ready. I was feeling better at the gym and didn’t feel like breaking down and crying today but then again I wasn’t boxing. I did the high intensity boot camp class. Great Class. I pushed myself and tried my best. My left arm is feeling better so that is a good sign. I still have to take it easy but it's not bothering me like it was last week.

After going to the gym. I went home got changed into my bathing suite and then I went for a dip in the ocean. This time the water was very calm and quiet. I could see fish in the water and also crabs. This time I made sure to take water shoes. It was super cold being in the water but also super relaxing as well. I stayed in the water for 20 seconds this time and then did another quick dip in the water. I was in the water way longer then 20 seconds but 20 seconds with the water covering my shoulders.

I don't know if this is normal for people when they first start of doing cold ocean water dips but it is making me feel super tired afterwards right now to the point where I just want to crash and sleep. I am going to go to the ocean every week (a few times a week) and make myself get in the water and see how long I can stay in the water because this will be good for my body.

YouTube Links:

Great Blue Heron 

Crows

I am posting another entry down below. Please don't judge me or think differently about me. I just need to be more open and not hide who I am. 

Wednesday August 06, 2025

I see posts about people being honest and opening up about having Autism and ADHD (ADD) or being just diagnosed with either Autism or ADHD (ADD) or both all the time now. And it makes me feel that for my own mental and physical health journey I need to open up as well. I just don't want people to judge me or think differently about me. I also don't want people to think I am not smart because I am smart.

Anyways here is to me opening up. As a child I had speech therapy and I was diagnosed with a learning disability. I did get reassessed when I went to college in Ontario and I only have a learning disability in math.

Anyways going through life being told I would never be able to go to university has been challenging and struggling. I did try a year at Dalhousie university but realized it wasn't for me. And I realized I wanted to be working instead. I have still done way more than what my family and relatives thought I was capable of (I learned my family and relatives didn't have high hopes for me and that is always going to hurt my feelings even if I can never bring it up).

Also I suspect I might have had a stroke in my mother's womb after some clients of mine have asked me why I only talk from one side of my mouth.

Anyways I am a 3 time college graduate. I have a Recreation Therapy (Therapeutic Recreation) Certificate and Diploma. I enjoyed studying Recreation Therapy but the program didn’t lead me to a career. It just led me to further education. I also have a Health Care Assistant Certificate and a Medical Office Administration Certificate. I also have a Traffic Control Person Certificate. The Traffic Control Person Certificate isn’t college related but I wanted to mention it anyways. So that is super cool and I think I am doing well for myself. I work in home care and am looking for a job in a medical clinic.

I do boxing and weight training and running. I try to eat healthy so I won't have depression. I knit, crochet, sew, paint, write, play ukulele and flute. I have dreams of starting a fashion business. I enjoy the outdoors and all sports and fitness.

So despite having life long struggles like a learning disability I am doing well. I just need to work on a few things like being more organized, time management, managing my emotions (I think I am more likely to have depression and stress because of my learning disability. That’s just my thoughts though and it might not be true.)  and communication as well as getting out and meeting new people and making new friends.

Anyways please don't judge me as I don't like opening up about things like this.