Tuesday August 05, 2025

Self Reflection Journal

Question on my mind: Will the coach view me differently because of my disability?

First thing in the morning I did a bit of knitting. I am working on knitting a cardigan. I took some photos and videos. I posted them to other Facebook pages I have. I will post the finished project on my Boxing Page if it turns out.

Here is something I have to admit. Sometimes I knit for too long when I know I should be doing other things like doing ABS, Physio and Going for Runs. I also spend too much time on my Computer watching YouTube Videos and realize spending too much time on my computer is making me lonely when I should be getting out into the world and meeting new people and making new friends.

Today I did Boxing. I almost broke down in Boxing. I wanted to break down and cry. I was feeling awkward and had regret after opening up to my Boxing Coach about life long struggles (but hey that has made me a fighter since day 1. And that means I will always be a fighter outside of the boxing ring). I admitted that I felt awkward and had regret opening up and then I told him I couldn't look at him when he wanted me to look him in the eyes because I felt like crying and I knew if I did look at him I would break down and cry and probably not be able to stop. Anyways it's going to be tough at the gym for the next little while.

I also went for a dip in the ocean. The ocean water was pretty wavy today and not at all quiet or calm but that didn’t stop me from going into the water. I kept on going into the water and then coming out. Finally I filmed myself going in and getting all wet. I stayed in for like probably 10 seconds for the first time. I need to do this all the time for my body. My plan is to do another ocean dip tomorrow and try to stay in the water a bit longer like 20 seconds in the water or longer. I am a wimp when it comes to cold water. When I was a child I would get in the water at the beach right away but now I take my time to get in the water. And tomorrow I am taking water shoes because I cut my foot on a rock in the water and it was bleeding.

I also went to the high intensity boot camp class in the evening. I still didn’t really want to be at the high intensity boot camp class but I went anyways. And I tried my best. All to write for today. 

YouTube Links:

Knitting A Red and Blue Toque WIN 20250805 06 35 18 Pro 

doing the ocean - YouTube (It was supposed to say dipping in the ocean)